But For Real Episode 31: Existential-Humanistic Psychology— WTF actually is it? 🧐

Podcast
Written By Colleen Conklin

In a world full of uncertainty and pain, life can feel devoid of meaning and hope—but what if life could also feel incredibly rich by showing up for it fully?

You don’t have to have it all figured out to live with depth, and existential humanistic psychology can help you reconnect with life meaningfully — and Valerie and Emerson have you covered on the history, what it is, and practical tips for incorporating it in your day to day life.

This episode covers:

Tea & Crumpets

Emerson can’t stop talking about rewatching Nashville — very apropos with Val and Emerson being based in Nashville!

Valerie is loving The Lowdown, a new FX show by Sterlin Harjo, starring Ethan Hawke, Keith David, Ryan Kiera Armstrong. The show is based loosely on the story of historian Lee Roy Chapman, “an American public historian, citizen journalist, activist, and artist whose research reshaped contemporary understanding of Tulsa, Oklahoma's racial history.”

Step Into My Office: Okay, I’ve learned to cope… but now what?

A listener wrote in about how she’s been in therapy for several years and while it has helped with her anxiety, but lately she’s been craving something deeper. She’s not in crisis — she just feels disconnected, like she’s living on autopilot. Her therapist talks a lot about thought patterns and behaviors, but she wants to talk about… Purpose. Mortality. The big, heavy shit.

Val and Emerson share that while of course therapy can be great for learning how to cope, it can also be a great space to work on deeper issues and questions. It’s also important to note that some therapists are better suited for exploring these concerns than others! Some therapists are very focused on particular diagnoses, while others love existentialism. The best place to start is bringing this up to your therapist and seeing their thoughts.

The DSM: Existential-Humanistic Psychology

Where It Came From (History & Roots)

Existential psychology grew out of existential philosophy — thinkers like Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Heidegger, Sartre, Beauvoir — all asking, “What does it mean to be human, to be free, and to face death without losing our minds?”

Psychologists like Viktor Frankl (Man’s Search for Meaning), Rollo May, and Irvin Yalom brought those ideas into therapy, emphasizing choice, responsibility, and the courage to face life’s givens: death, freedom, isolation, and meaninglessness.

Humanistic psychology arose around the same time (1950s–60s) as a reaction against both behaviorism (“we’re just rats pushing levers”) and psychoanalysis (“everything’s your mother’s fault”).

Some major factors in this space are Abraham Maslow (hierarchy of needs, self-actualization), Carl Rogers (person-centered therapy), Charlotte BĂźhler, and James Bugental.

It focused on potential, authenticity, growth, and viewing people as fundamentally good and capable — not broken.

“Basically, existentialists said, ‘You’re gonna die, deal with it,’ and the humanists said, ‘But you’re also full of potential — so hydrate and journal about it.’”

How They Connect: The Marriage of Existential and Humanistic Psychology

These movements have shared DNA — Both movements arose as rebellions — against psychoanalysis (too deterministic) and behaviorism (too mechanical). They said: “Humans aren’t rats or case studies; we’re conscious beings with agency.”

Existentialism = facing reality. We can choose to ignore reality or can face what are called the “existential givens”:

  • Death — our finitude creates urgency and anxiety.

  • Freedom — terrifying responsibility for our choices.

  • Isolation — even with love and connection, we all ultimately remain separate beings.

  • Meaninglessness — there’s no pre-written script; we must create meaning ourselves.

Humanism = embracing potential. It brings warmth, optimism, and faith in growth. Where existentialists ask, “How do we face suffering?”, humanists ask, “How do we live fully?”

In practice:

  • Existential = depth, authenticity, responsibility.

  • Humanistic = empathy, compassion, unconditional positive regard.

  • Combined, they balance the heavy with the hopeful.

What It Looks Like in Practice: Therapy as a Meeting of Two Humans

Existential-humanistic therapists are not the expert, fixer, or authority — but a fellow traveler (Yalom’s phrase). Therapy becomes a relationship of realness — two people co-creating understanding in the moment, where presence is more powerful than technique.

In existential-humanistic practice, symptoms are signals, not enemies — anxiety, guilt, or despair are messengers pointing to where we’re disconnected from meaning or truth.

Examples in action:

  • A client’s “burnout” might open into a discussion about alienation and authenticity at work.

  • Grief becomes a window into love, not just loss.

  • Conflict reveals fear of freedom, not just poor communication.

Why It Matters — Especially Now

We’ve never been more connected digitally yet more disconnected existentially.

This approach helps us hold paradox: joy and sorrow, freedom and fear, hope and despair — all at once.

After decades of “fix yourself” narratives (productivity, biohacking, self-help), people are craving meaning, not optimization. This invites a slower, wiser kind of growth — one that doesn’t require a spreadsheet.

Existential-humanistic psychology reminds us that therapy isn’t just about fixing what’s broken; it’s about remembering what’s alive in us. It’s the invitation to stop outsourcing our meaning and start living it. Yes, life is unpredictable, painful, and finite — but it’s also unbelievably rich when we show up for it fully. You don’t have to have it all figured out to live with depth. You just have to keep choosing to engage, to care, and to create meaning out of the mess.

Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY

Em’s pick for the week is End of Beginning- Djo. It truly captures an essence of Gen Z nostalgia and existentialism, having a recognition for your former self, finding meaning in a special place.

Val’s pick is What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie - from their 2005 album, Plans.

Fire Dumpster Phoenix

Val’s find for this week is about how an 80-year-old grandma who learned to swim at 59 just became the oldest ever female ironman finisher.

Emerson’s find for this week is about a 95 year old man who started a Taylor Swift fan club.

If you want to learn more about any (or all) of these topics, click the podcast player at the top of this post or the YouTube video down below to listen to the full episode and dive in with us.

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Colleen Conklin
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But For Real Episode 30: What to Do When the World Is on Fire (Literally) ☄️