In a world that’s both metaphorically and literally on fire, it can feel nearly impossible to figure out how the hell to live without either feeling like you’re gaslighting yourself into “normalcy” or getting so paralyzed by eco-anxiety that you can’t function.

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into all things Eco-Anxiety & Planet Grief, as well as steps you can take to navigate a burning world without getting STUCK in the apathetic loop of grieving our Mother Earth.

This episode covers:

Tea & Crumpets

Emerson can’t stop talking about Katrina: Come Hell and High Water on Netflix. It takes a deep dive into Hurricane Katrina in a way that most people who didn’t witness it firsthand haven’t seen.

Valerie is obsessed with One Battle After Another, a 2025 American black comedy action thriller film written, co-produced, and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.

Step Into My Office: How do I care about the planet without drowning in guilt or apathy?

A listener wrote in about how the despair that has resulted from grieving the world they thought they would grow into has been all-consuming. They want to take action but don’t know where to start and find themself feeling constantly in paralysis surrounding this. When she tries to talk about it with friends or family, they tell her to ‘just focus on the positive’ or ‘enjoy what you can control.’ But for her, it feels like gaslighting to act normal when everything is changing.

Valerie and Emerson encourage the listener to do things like pushing legislators when you have the opportunity and look at where there is room in your choices without having to feel like you have to overhaul your whole life — every bit of progress adds up!

The DSM: Eco-Anxiety & Planet Grief

This segment starts with defining eco-anxiety and planet grief.

Eco-anxiety is that knot in your stomach when you read another wildfire headline. It’s the existential dread about climate change, biodiversity loss, and the sense that we’re losing the world we knew. Research defines it as “chronic fear of environmental doom.” (Yale Sustainability Explainer).

Planet grief (or ecological grief) is the mourning that follows — the heartbreak over species extinction, changing seasons, or feeling the planet itself is dying. Sometimes it’s anticipatory: grieving what hasn’t yet vanished but might.

So, why is this rising now?

The crisis is no longer abstract — it’s literally at our doorstep: heat waves, hurricanes, smoke-filled skies.

In a 10-country study of 10,000 young people (Hickman et al., 2021, The Lancet Planetary Health), 60% said they’re very worried about climate change and nearly half said it affects their daily functioning.
Add 24/7 doom-scrolling and a lack of meaningful governmental action, and you’ve got a recipe for emotional overload.
Eco-anxiety is rational — it’s our nervous system saying, “Hey, this is not fine.”

What do eco-anxiety and planet grief look like?

Emotional: dread, guilt, rage, grief, helplessness.
Cognitive: catastrophizing, spiraling thoughts about collapse.
Physical: fatigue, insomnia, tension, stress reactions.
Social: withdrawing from conversations, conflict with family over denial or apathy.

A 2022 meta-analysis found that eco-anxiety correlates with higher rates of anxiety, depression, and insomnia (Stanley et al., Environment and Behavior).

Why does this all matter?

Too much dread leads to paralysis, but too little dread leads to apathy…AKA no change. The sweet spot is engaged concern — enough to motivate action without burning out. Interestingly, studies show eco-anger (directed toward systemic injustice) predicts better mental health and more activism than hopelessness (Chapman et al., 2021, The Journal of Climate Change and Health). This means that feeling mad about the crisis can actually be healthier than going numb. Grieving collectively legitimizes the pain and reconnects us to meaning.

Eco-Therapy & Ecopsychology

While eco-anxiety names the pain of witnessing the planet’s suffering, eco-therapy and eco-psychology offer the antidote: remembering that we’re part of nature, not separate from it.

Eco-psychology (coined by Theodore Roszak in the 1990s) grew from the belief that modern mental illness is inseparable from our disconnection from the natural world. It’s the idea that the ecological and psychological crises are two sides of the same coin — we’re trying to treat anxiety while living inside the very systems that cause it.

Eco-therapy (or nature-based therapy) translates this into practice: using direct engagement with the natural environment — gardening, forest bathing, wilderness work, animal-assisted therapy — to foster regulation, presence, and belonging. Even biophilic design helps!

Research backs it up: A 2021 meta-analysis (Frontiers in Psychology) found that even brief exposure to natural settings significantly reduced rumination, stress, and depressive symptoms. Regular contact with green space lowers cortisol and improves emotional resilience.

So…what helps and what doesn’t?

What Helps:

Name it: Label eco-anxiety as a normal reaction, not pathology.
Ground in action: Micro-actions matter. Composting, voting, joining climate groups.
Connection: Build or join communities that share these values.
Ritual: Write a letter to the Earth, plant something, create shared mourning spaces.
Therapy & embodiment: Eco-therapists, nature-based work, trauma-informed mindfulness.
Boundaries: Limit doom-scrolling; find joy as an act of resistance.

What Doesn’t:

Pretending you don’t care (“to protect your peace”).
Shaming others for not doing enough.
Hyper-individualism (“If I just recycle perfectly, maybe the polar bears will come back”).

Eco-anxiety isn’t a sign that something’s wrong with you. It’s a sign that you’re attuned to a world in crisis and that you care deeply.

Grief is proof of love — and the fact that so many of us feel this way means we haven’t given up yet.

The goal isn’t to fix everything or to stay hopeful 24/7, it’s to stay human and to let yourself feel the heartbreak, the rage, the wonder, and still choose connection, joy, and small acts of care.

What does it mean to love something that’s dying, and still choose to fight for it?

Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY

Em’s pick for the week is Send It On- Released in 2009 by Walt Disney and Hollywood Records, this collaboration of Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez was formed to promote Disney’s Friends For Change a TV and radio campaign encouraging young fans to to take action on environmental issues in 4 key areas: water, climate, waste, and habitat. Kids were encouraged to pledge online to adopt environmentally-friendly habits and had the ability to vote on how Disney would donate 1 mil into various environmental programs.

Val’s pick is Peace Train by Yusuf / Cat Stevens & Playing for Change, a timeless anthem of hope and unity. Playing For Change (PFC) is a Certified B Corp (Social Purpose Organization) created to inspire and connect the world through music, born from the shared belief that music has the power to break down boundaries and overcome distances between people.

Wait, What?

This week, Emerson breaks down the term “lock in” and the “great lock in of 2025. Popularized by Gen Z, “lock in” means focusing without distraction. The Great Lock In Of 2025 refers to a rebranded “Winter Arc”—this is all about getting your shit together within the last few months of the year, tie up any loose ends and enter the next year with a fresh perspective and great habits!

Fire Dumpster Phoenix

Val’s find for this week is about the triumphant return of Francine the cat!!! Richmond, Virginia residents have been worried for weeks, waiting for news of Francine, their beloved Lowe’s cat who vanished after accidentally hitching a ride on a delivery truck. 🐱 Finally, the search is over.

Emerson’s find for this week is about how Steve Lamplough of Victoria, Australia was quite surprised when he found his golden retriever Denni with a BABY KOALA on her back!! Commenters on Facebook speculated that the baby koala fell from a tree and Denni tapped into her maternal instincts and let the baby hang on till she got help. They helped the little koala back up a tree and momma koala came back, climbed up and got her baby with no issues. Crikey.. How stinking cute is life sometimes!

If you want to learn more about any (or all) of these topics, click the podcast player at the top of this post or the YouTube video down below to listen to the full episode and dive in with us.

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

Connect with Us:

Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
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Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
Val on IG: @valkaymartin
The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

But For Real Episode 30: What to Do When the World Is on Fire (Literally) ☄️