2025 is officially here, and in this week’s episode, Val and Emerson are talking all about how to kick off the new year with compassionate self-discipline, instead of the often toxic #newyearnewme mentality.

Valerie Martin and Emerson Ryder, two podcasters and therapists in Nashville TN

They also share a listener’s story about how wild the body’s response to stress can be, give some music recommendations perfect for ringing in the new year, and fill everyone in on some wholesome, hopeful news to help get us through the treacherous world we’re living in.

This episode covers:

Tea & Crumpets

This week, Emerson is trying to get back into using her iPad. While it wasn’t a Christmas gift, everyone getting new tech for the holidays, as well as doing some new year decluttering brought it back to the forefront of her mind! She’s been using it to do some goal setting, did some coloring, and made a Pinterest collage vision board – she can’t wait to continue exploring!

This week, Val is obsessed with the show Nobody Wants This, featuring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody. The show is very sex and relationship focused–aptly fitting for a sex and couples therapist! She only has a few episodes left and can’t wait for the new season.

The Lore

For this installment of The Lore, a listener submitted a story of a mysterious physical situation that stumped both her and her doctors back in 2018. She was experiencing an extreme level of stress due to some work and family situations, and started having a bizarre skin reaction that no one could diagnose. You can hear the full story in this episode–it’s truly a representation of how our stress lives and manifests in our bodies!

The DSM: Navigating Stress and Anxiety

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve likely been assaulted by constant media about New Year’s resolutions and “New Year, New Me” culture. For most people, the methods that have always been popular just don’t work and are unsustainable. In fact, according to Drive Research, 92% of adults won’t follow through on a resolution.

So, how do we actually set sustainable goals?

In Val and Emerson’s experience, utilizing self-compassion, particularly compassionate self-discipline is the way to go for achieving goals–whether you set them January 1st or any time of the year.

Through compassionate self-discipline, we can be kind to ourselves and show ourselves understanding, while also pushing ourselves to achieve goals. It’s easy to be all or nothing with goal setting, and this approach helps you find a balance that will set you up for success. You can learn more and get tangible strategies by listening to the full episode!

Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY

Emerson’s pick for the week was “New Year’s Day” by Taylor Swift. For Em, it’s the perfect song to reflect on memories from the past year. It’s a bit of a love song, both to yourself and your loved ones, through both the high and low moments.

Val’s pick for the week was “Yes and More Please” by Fia. It captures the energy she feels at the start of a new year.

While it’s hard to find much info on Fia online, her YouTube shares this: “In a world that is spinning relentlessly faster, Fia’s music makes us stop and think - where are we going and why? Since the debut in 2016, Fia who was raised in the Stockholm area but now living in Rättvik, Dalarna, has explored humanity's relation to the physical - to the earth we live on - and the psychological - what makes us discover hidden layers and new roads to explore within ourselves.”

Fire Dumpster Phoenix

While our world is definitely still a place of chaos that often feels hopeless, Em and Val have once again found us headlines worth being hopeful for!

Em’s find for the week was an article about how a woman collects and reunites families with their photographs lost to Hurricane Helene. Taylor Schenker of North Carolina was recovering items for her friend’s home that was destroyed by the hurricane and kept finding photographs. After she began collecting them, she started an Instagram account, @photosfromhelene, and once the photos are claimed, she mails them or delivers them in person.

Val’s find for the week was an article titled “Minnesota Summer Camp for HIV-Positive Kids Closes Down— [dramatic pause] Because There Aren’t Any More.” Thanks to rock-bottom rates of HIV among babies in Minnesota, One Heartland, one of the nation’s largest summer campgrounds for HIV-positive kids is no longer needed. Most times when we hear about camps or schools closing, it’s a sad story–but this is a happy one!

If you want to learn more about any (or all) of these topics, click the podcast player at the top of this post or the YouTube video down below to listen to the full episode and dive in with us.

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

Connect with Us:

Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
Val on IG: @valkaymartin
The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

But For Real Episode 9: Kicking Off the New Year with Compassionate Self-Discipline