But For Real Episode 26: Blame It On The Booze: Alcohol in 2025🍸

Podcast
Written By Colleen Conklin

Alcohol culture is pervasive—and while alcohol isn’t unhealthy for EVERYONE, the discourse can be pretty inescapable…especially in a city like Nashville.

Whether you’ve been alcohol free for years, curious about your relationship with alcohol, or trying to stop, this episode is for you!

Emerson Ryder Valerie Martin Therapist Podcaster Nashville

This episode covers:

Tea & Crumpets

Valerie is currently loving All Rhodes Lead Here by Mariana Zapata. While Val tends to be more of a nonfiction reader, she does like to dip her toes into fiction from time to time, and with Mariana being the slow burn queen, this was a perfect read. Val especially enjoyed the character development and exploration of grief.

Emerson is currently loving embracing a slower life and intentionally delaying gratification. She’s been doing things like reading fiction before bed instead of scrolling and incorporating new hobbies like taking a pottery class with her younger sister. With the struggle of a fast-paced world combined with an ADHD brain, this practice is proving to be fulfilling.

Step Into My Office: How do I set boundaries with family related to alcohol?

A listener in her early 20s wrote in about how she’s struggling with setting boundaries with her parents related to alcohol. She doesn’t drink much because she doesn’t love how it makes her feel, and she’d rather spend her money and energy on other things…but her family just doesn’t get it. Her parents grew up in a culture where wine with dinner and cocktails at every gathering are the norm.

alcohol at family party

Every holiday, they keep offering her drinks, and when she says no, it devolves into jokes, side comments, or guilt trips. She feels like she’s constantly defending herself or being treated like she’s missing out on some essential part of life. She don’t want to start a fight or make them feel judged for drinking but also doesn’t want to keep caving in just to make the awkwardness stop.

Emerson relates to the listener quite a bit due to her British heritage. When she started to reevaluate her relationship with alcohol in 2021, her parents gave some pushback. She recommends leading with an intentional boundaried phrase like, “No thanks, but I’ll have some have juice instead.”

Valerie added that she thinks sometimes people get anxious about wanting to be a good host and wanting to make sure everyone is having a good time, so they may push more because of that anxiety. She suggests saying something like, “I’m great, I’ve got a sparkling water here, I’m all good,” so that they can be reassured you’re having a good time.

While things may be awkward at first, with time and reinforcement, the awkwardness can and will resolve!

The Lore: Val’s Journey to Alcohol-Free Life

In this segment, Val shared a bit about her own journey with alcohol and where she’s landed today. While she never had some big rock bottom moment or any major consequences from drinking alcohol, there was always something nagging in the back of her head about her relationship with drinking. If you’re someone who doesn’t have a “problem” with alcohol but still want to quit instead of constantly navigating the moderation carousel, listen to the full episode to hear Val’s story.

The DSM: Alcohol in 2025

Statistics

Alcohol consumption is on a steady decline in the US, according to a Gallup poll. From 1997 to 2023, at least 60% of Americans reported drinking alcohol. The figure fell to 62% in 2023 and to 58% in 2024, before reaching 54% today. Prior to the most recent poll, the rate has been under 60% fewer than 10 times since the initial 1939 poll!

However, despite this decline, alcohol is linked to about 178,000 U.S. deaths a year, aka 488 people a day, per the CDC. It’s also the most common substance for people 12 and older in the US.

Pop Culture & Social Media

Millennial culture is often heavily steeped in alcohol use, including “wine-mom” memes, craft beer phases, rosé all day BRUNCH culture…and the infamous four-loko days. Gen Z tends to lead the sober-curious movement with fun NA bevs and attempts at harm reduction when drinking does happen.

Val and Emerson also explore the rise in “garden mocktails”, AKA drinks containing THC but no alcohol.

Signs Alcohol Might Be a Problem

It is possible to engage with alcohol in a way that isn’t a problem, but with societal conditioning, it can be challenging to see if that problem does exist. Here are some signs to consider:

  • Drinking more than you meant to. (That whole, I’ll just have one that magically multiplies into six? Yeah.)

  • Spending a lot of time drinking or recovering. (Sunday Scaries, but with bonus nausea.)

  • Cravings that feel like your brain is yelling “shots, shots, shots” unironically.

  • It’s messing with work, school, family, relationships

  • You keep drinking even though it’s making your depression/anxiety/health worse.

Basically: if alcohol is taking more than it’s giving, that’s a good check-in point.

Harm Reduction & Mindful Consumption

Redefining your relationship with alcohol doesn’t have to be all or nothing! If you are exploring moderation, here are some tip for setting expectations for yourself:

  • Drink with food

  • Alternate NA, alcoholic drinks, water 

  • Understand your personal limit, set it, and pay attention to the data

  • Environment: drinking alone at home vs. social

but for REAL— You get to experiment with what does and doesn’t feel good when it comes to your relationship to alcohol! Know your standard pour, try the NA swap, add one regulation tool, and harness your harm reduction skills to help you mindfully consume if you choose, and if alcohol is not your vibe, then that is perfectly fine too.

Curious about exploring more? Check out these resources:

Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY

Em’s pick for the week is Escapism by RAYE. RAYE states that this song is just about running away from everything as fast as you can, engaging in a slew of post break-up coping mechanisms (hookups, drugs, alcohol).

Val’s pick is Reasons I Drink by Alanis Morissette. In Alanis’ words, “For me, alcohol served as a brilliant secondary addiction to stave off the effects of my three primary addictions, which were love, food and work.”

Fire Dumpster Phoenix

Val’s find for this week is that the annual Gallup Life Evaluation Index found that “men and women, young and old,” consider themselves to be thriving in larger numbers than any other time in the past.

Emerson’s find for this week is that two 10 year old girls, London’s Bodhana Sivanandan and Ohio’s Keya Jha beat grandmasters Pete Wells and Bryan Smith within hours of one another in two separate competitions across the globe.

If you want to learn more about any (or all) of these topics, click the podcast player at the top of this post or the YouTube video down below to listen to the full episode and dive in with us.

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Colleen Conklin
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