8 Routes of Safety: A Guide to Feeling Safe in an Unsafe World
By Sam DiMartino, LMSW
If you are anything like me, you are probably finding it very easy to spiral into fear and anxiety in response to current news and political events.
It’s hard to deny that we are in difficult times, no matter where you align politically, and that we’ve been in difficult times for a while.
Needless to say, I think it can be especially challenging to feel safe with all the fear and chaos around us, and safety is something that we all need if we are going to expect ourselves to maintain stability, much less grow and progress.
That’s why I want to introduce you to one of my favorite concepts in therapy, the Routes of Safety model. The Routes of Safety model was developed by Jake Ernst, MSW with the intent of “acknowledging the ways that we fluidly access safety.”
This model helps us explore the many different ways we provide ourselves with a felt sense of safety - not just in moments of crisis, but also as a way to proactively care for ourselves. It acknowledges that safety is personal, flexible, and deeply influenced by our personal lived experience. I’ll be providing a worksheet that I personally developed based off of Jake’s work at the end of this email for those of you who want to dive deeper and look at fleshing out your own Routes of Safety.
But first, here’s a quick preview of what the routes actually are.
What Are the Routes of Safety?
The model outlines eight routes that you can use to access safety. These routes fall into three different categories:
Self-resourced: Safety is accessed primarily within oneself.
Socially-sourced: Safety is accessed from connection with others.
Action-oriented: Safety is accessed through tangible action & change.
Here’s a brief overview of each route:
1. 👤 Inner Guidance (Self-resourced)
This route is about tapping into the wisdom and comfort already within you. Practices like meditation, journaling, or grounding exercises can help quiet the noise and guide you to a sense of calm.
2. 🌸 Sensory Experiences (Self-resourced)
This route encourages you to access safety through your senses. Enjoying a hot beverage, listening to a favorite song, or lighting a scented candle; allowing these sensations to ground you in the present moment.
3. 🛏 Private Retreat (Self-resourced)
This route is about taking space for yourself. Maybe curling up with a book, taking a nap, or spending some intentional time alone to create a moment of calm and allow your nervous system to reset.
4. 🤝 Quality Relationships (Socially-sourced)
This route is about finding safety in connection. Reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or even a pet. Venting, laughing, or just being seen and accepted is a tried and true way to feel more safe.
5.👥 Closeness & Proximity (Socially-sourced)
This route is about the simplicity of being around those we feel safe with. You can seek out a friend to be in the same room with you while you work, share a space while you engage in your favorite hobbies, or ask for a hug. Sometimes we just need to be near someone.
6. 🌎 Common Humanity (Socially-sourced)
This route is about un-isolating yourself. Even just leaving the house, going to a coffee shop, the library, or a park can remind us that we are a part of something larger and not alone.
7. 🛡️ Protective Measures (Action-oriented)
This route is all about asserting your needs and creating boundaries. It might be saying no, removing things from your space that may cause you harm, or not spending time with people who cause you distress. Whatever it takes, the goal is bolstering self-trust and empowerment.
8. 🧭 Structure & Certainty (Action-oriented)
This route relies upon planning and predictability. Getting into a new routine/habit, organizing your calendar, cleaning, or even sticking to a familiar hobby can bring a sense of predictability in uncertain times.
Why These Routes Matter
You may have one, or a few, go-to ways to make yourself feel safer or more connected. But we all experience situations where the old standbys aren’t relevant, they aren’t as useful as they once were, or they just aren’t available.This is one reason the Routes of Safety model is so valuable as you can use it as a kind of map to devising a more diverse toolkit for accessing safety. That toolkit is something you can return to when the world feels overwhelming or uncertain. Plus, the more you practice using each tool, the more easily you can regulate yourself and shift from survival mode into feeling more grounded and focused.
(AND maybe, as a nice bonus, feel more capable of doing the hard work of fighting injustice, advocating for others, and bolstering our communities).
Here is the worksheet that I created for you to learn more about the Routes of Safety, as well as start coming up with your own routes. If this model and the associated concepts have resonated with you, I encourage you to talk about it with your therapist and maybe devise some personal routes of safety together in session!
