But For Real Episode 15: The One About Adult Friendship
If you’ve struggled to build or maintain friendships as an adult, you’re not alone.
Between busy schedules, the stress of the world, and the lack of built-in “funnels” for making friends as an adult can make social connection a real challenge.
But in this episode, we’ve got you covered with some validation, advice, and resources to help you find and build friendships that are truly fulfilling 🫶
This episode covers:
Tea & Crumpets
Emerson can’t stop talking about the show Adolescence on Netflix. It centers around a 13-year-old boy murdering a classmate and the aftermath that ensues. While the show is fictional, it has important parallels for today’s world.
Val can’t stop talking about Lights On – an audio documentary. It centers around consciousness, with perspectives from philosophers and neuroscientists and is a super fascinating listen!
Step Into My Office
If you’ve ever experienced a friendship fizzling out, you’re not alone.
In this episode, a listener shared that she is struggling with navigating a friendship that started out super close and now feels one-sided and like she’s the only one reaching out. Val and Emerson share some thoughts on aspects that may be important to reflect on if a friendship seems to be fading, as well as advice for moving forward.
The DSM: Seeking/Building Adult Friendships in These Trying Times
This segment starts with Val and Emerson talking about some of the factors that make adult friendships hard including:
No built in friendship funnels
Time & emotional fatigue
Fear of being perceived
Phase of life discrepancies
They then touch on generational perspectives of friendship challenges, including the lack of “club culture” for Gen-Z and the struggles for millennials of wanting to stay connected online while also wanting to divest from platforms like Facebook.
Val explores some of the emotional experiences that impact friendship, including friend breakups, scarcity mindset, identity shifts, and messy situations/boundaries.
The segment closes out with Val and Emerson sharing practical tips for building/maintaining adult friendships such as intentionality, starting small, and doing something outside of the box. Want more details? You’ll have to listen to the full episode 🤪
Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY
Val’s pick for the week is "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C. It’s a true classic and was written as a response to how many friends drift apart soon after graduation from high school. This rec is also aptly timed with graduation season approaching!
Emerson’s pick for the week is "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars. The song brings up cute, nostalgic vibes that are much needed in these trying times.
Fire Dumpster Phoenix
Emerson’s find for the week was an article about a ground breaking gene therapy treatment curing Sickle Cell Anemia. Sebastian Beauzile, a 21-year-old New Yorker was the first in the state to receive Lyfgenia treatment for sickle cell anemia. He has been “seemingly cured” since his treatment in December 2024, which was causing him skin ulcers, joint pain and severe chest pain. Yay modern medicine!!!
Val’s find for the week was a piece about how a dolphin trapped in a Florida waterway galvanized a cleanup team. After Hurricane Milton in October, the dolphin got caught in a crab trap. Freeing the dolphin led to a massive cleanup of the waterway so that the same situation didn’t happen to more wildlife.
If you want to learn more about any (or all) of these topics, click the podcast player at the top of this post or the YouTube video down below to listen to the full episode and dive in with us.
Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:
Adolescence on Netflix
Intergenerational relationships article
Ground Breaking Gene Therapy Treatment Cured Sickle Cell Anemia
A dolphin trapped in a Florida waterway galvanized this cleanup team
Connect with Us:
Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
Val on IG: @valkaymartin
The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co
DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.
